The Attorney

He honestly had me at hello. It was that smile. The odd little connection of our shared hometown kept us chatting. He was the first guy I fell in love with ---- and a whole lot of other firsts too ---- and I still think I look to find a guy just like him. Instantly I thought he was "it" for me, despite my young age. He is a guy in every sense of the word ... and knew how to make a girl melt. (Took me awhile to realize I wasn't the only girl he could make melt.) He could spin any conversation, opinion, thought and even the basic "I love you" into a debate, but he'd still convince me that even though he was right, that I'd won the argument. I loved the way he teased me, needed to be near me and touch me, made me feel like the most special girl in the world, and called me silly little nicknames. And even as much as he frustrated me (oh, and did he ever --- still does, years and years later) and kept me on my toes --- it was the way he smiled and looked straight into my eyes always that made me trust him ... even though that was the last thing I should've ever done. Ours was a whirlwind romance (or something) that somehow turned into 12 years later. Every now and then he'd absolutely shock me when he'd let me know how much he cared for me. I needed to hear that from him, perhaps more than I've ever needed that from anyone in life. For some reason, I've always trusted his feelings. I've always trusted him. And here I am, still willing to trust him. But I should know better ---- if he comes back enough for me to trust him, it means he'll have to break his trust with someone else.