The Friend

He came second. After The Attorney and before The Unexpected. I knew him before I think I knew what love was. But he fits better into the story here. We met when I was still searching for what I thought was love. I'd been so hurt, my heart and my silly little spirit so demolished by The Attorney, that I'd convinced myself that I had to find someone exactly like him to make me happy. And this Friend, well, he was nothing like that. So no wonder I didn't see how wonderful he was. He was sweet and gentle and kind and from the minute he met me, he loved me. I loved him too ---- but not in the way I should've. I've always thought about him and held him so dear to my heart, but have always given the breezy excuses of "I'm not the girl you're looking for," or something similar. Twelve years have gone by and we're only getting closer as friends. We're pretty much total opposites. For so long, I didn't even picture him as someone I would ever be interested in. We don't like most of the same things and we don't even really know if we're all that compatible. But I can't begin to tell you how hard it hit me recently that I should've fallen in love with him all those years ago. It nearly overwhelmed me. I realize it happened with I found out that The Unexpected had moved on to someone else, but it was a deep sense that I missed out on someone special in my life. I realized that now, so many years later. He is someone who is entirely the type of person I want to spend my life with, the person I want to be the father of my children, and the person I know who will accept me for me ... and I've missed out on him. We keep saying our timing is terrible. He keeps reminding me that he tried many times to convince me we were perfect for each other. He tells me how much he's loved me for so long. I tell him how much I regret not seeing that before. That's why he fits here in this place within the story. He's with someone else now ... and he's such a sweet person that he'll never hurt her ---even for me. That's the type of person I want in life ... and I missed out. I see that now.