an odd coincidence ... or fate?

i think i stumbled over myself, at the irony of it all. i kinda lost myself in the dreamy world of what seemed like destiny.

he had the same name as the one i'd loved so much. we met each other in the same way i'd met the other one and the sparks were the oh-so much the same. soon, i found myself with the new him in the same place, figuratively and literally, when i fell in love with the other him. it was all so surreal that i convinced myself that it was meant to be ... like i'd been given this second chance to fall in love in all the same places with a new guy and get that 'do over' in life that we all hope for. my fairytale want took shape looking out across the same blue water. my heart finally said goodbye to the other him as my dreams of forever with the new him danced across that same sea ...

it took a long time for me to see that it wasn't a fairytale, it wasn't destiny ... just a silly bit of coincidence that tossed my head and my heart into a jumbled mess of confusion.

it was hard to convince myself that fate wasn't going to win out, that the new him and me were just not meant to be.

the best part, i suppose, was that i realized how i could love again like that --- so deep, so true, so heartfelt. that a love would find me and in an instant i would know. i'm thankful for seeing that, just wish he'd been in a place to return it.

too bad that i didn't know in an instant that we weren't going to be each other's forever. but now that i have, i'm just going to let him go. it's easier this way. have to say, i'll miss the what we 'could have had together' more than what we actually had together. how we met, so randomly and so unexpectedly --- and filled with such irony, will always stick with me. but really, that's all we had. those first few moments. i think we both hoped for more, but since it's just not 'there' for us, there just doesn't seem any reason to hurt ourselves any longer. it's time to say goodbye --- or not even worry about muttering those words, since all we'll do is try to hang on. fate touched us, but soon passed us by.

maybe, just maybe ... it took the new him to get over the other him.